Love and Loss
by floatingpianos
Summary: Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny try to deal with adultery.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own anyone or anything, everyone and everything belongs to JK Rowling, I do not make any profit/money or take any credit from creating this fan fiction.

Chapter 1

I stood in the hallway banging on the door. My fist was sore; the door was unmoved by my struggle. I banged again. No response. It was Friday night, a little past seven. Finally it opened. She was leaning on the wall with her hand holding the door ajar. Her hair was a mess, her mascara smeared. She was still wearing the blue dress she bought just for that night.

It was Ron and Hermione's anniversary. I received her call at about six. I immediately left my house as soon as she hung up, kissing Ginny and the kids goodbye. My house was over 30 minutes from Ron and Hermione's flat in the city. It didn't matter. I couldn't let my friends down.

"Hermione?" I said confused. She was still crying. She tried to stay calm when she phoned me, but after she asked me if Ron was with me, she couldn't hold back the tears. I had told her that he wasn't with me. She hung up on me, crying. I knew something was wrong.

"Oh, Harry!" she cried. She immediately fell into my arms burying her face in my shoulder. I held her for a few moments while she wept. Finally, she raised her head.

"What happened?" I asked her. She was still trembling.

"He's cheating on me, Harry," she uttered. She left my embrace storming into her bedroom. She returned clenching her laptop.

"I was going to check my email. He wasn't with you so I figured he might have emailed me at least," she growled as she placed the PC on a nearby desk. "Well, look what I found!" she yelled. I approached the desk, my eyes glued to the monitor. "Read it," she barked.

It was an email from Ron to Cho. It mentioned him wanting to see her again. Before I could read more, she spoke again. "He's been having an affair…with Cho," she said, emphasizing her disdain for Cho when she enunciated her name.

"C'mon Hermione," I said with a half-chuckle, "Ron isn't that kind of guy." The expression on her face was firm. I stopped laughing.

"He's been coming home late for the past few weeks, he can never talk on the phone when I call, and…we haven't been having sex," Hermione said with shame. She pointed at the laptop saying, "This just proves it."

I was stunned. I took off my coat, still dressed from work. I had gotten her call as soon as I arrived home. I loosened my tie. I couldn't believe this was happening. How could Ron be cheating on her?

"I still have no idea where he is," she said, "For all I know, he could be sleeping with that slut Cho, right now."

Suddenly, Ron appeared in the door way. He was muttering something about getting into bad traffic. Hermioned walked over to him and screamed "Where were you?!"

He looked perplexed. "I was in traffic," he mumbled. Hermioned slapped him. He grabbed his cheek.

"I know everything!" she exclaimed.

"What?" Ron replied.

"I know about Cho and the affair. Is that where you were just now, screwing Cho?

"No! Please Hermione, calm down."

"Calm down?! How am I supposed to calm down, Ron? You have ruined our relationship, our family, my life, our life...our children's' lives for heaven's sake."

"Hermione, just listen to –"

"Get out you bastard, get out!"

"But – please Hermione –"

"Get out!"

"Hermione"

"Leave, now!"

Ron looked first at Hermione, then at me before exiting the door. She slammed the door behind him. "I'm lucky the kids are with their grandparent's for this," she wept. I tried to talk to her but she wouldn't speak. She just laid in my arms crying.

My phone vibrated. It was Ginny. "Please don't leave," Hermione said, noticing the phone, "Please." I nodded and turned it off. I loved Ginny but Hermione needed me. She was all alone.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own anyone or anything, everyone and everything belongs to JK Rowling, I do not make any profit/money or take any credit from creating this fan fiction.

Chapter 2

I woke up the next day. It was Saturday. I had a pounding headache and was nauseous. The light was blinding, but I could still see a figure hunched over in the chair. I groaned; the pain was terrible. I shielded my eyes with my hand and saw that the figure was Hermione. She was biting her nails, totally unlike herself, and rocking back and forth. She quickly looked up at me as I rose from the bed.

"Hermione?" I verbalized at last (I had been saying her name in my head for a while before I realized I wasn't speaking). She was wearing a white, silk robe. "What happened last night?"

"You don't remember," she mumbled. "Nothing," she shouted quickly and more audibly. I cringed at the noise. I got out of bed, my body aching. I suddenly felt cold and realized I was completely naked. A bottle of whiskey lay at my feet. I quickly fumbled around on the ground, searching for my underwear.

"Did we…did we…," I began, pulling on my pants.

"Yes," she peeped. I pulled on my undershirt. I was so confused. I slept with Hermione? I couldn't remember anything. The guilt was beginning to sink in.

"How –," I started.

"You were drunk…we were drunk," she responded. This was unbelievable.

"How –," I tried again.

"You had better get going," she muttered throwing my shirt to me. She ran into the bathroom. I showed myself out.

I went straight home. I could barely drive. I turned my phone back on and saw that it was already noon. I had five missed calls, all from Ginny. I fumbled through the doorway and was immediately overtaken by my children.

"Daddy," they exclaimed. They held me tightly. I held them tighter; I needed to get Hermione and the sex out of my mind.

"Look who's home," someone spoke. It was Ginny. She was standing cross-armed in the kitchen. Her face was tight and forced into a smile. "Why don't you guys go play in your room," she said to our children. I released them and they ran off. The smile disappeared replaced by a scowl. "Where were you?" she asked.

"Hermione was a little more shaken up than I thought. It seems that Ron's having an affair," I replied.

"And you stayed the night? Why didn't you call? When I called you, you didn't answer."

"My phone died and I couldn't remember the new home number off hand."

"And fortunately enough my cell is broken. We'll at least I know you weren't off gallivanting around." She giggled. This was so much like her. She always overreacted to things at first. Sadly, this time, she wasn't far off.

I tried to chuckle in return. "I hope you remembered the dinner tonight," she said.

"Of course," I replied, "How could I forget one of the only nights we are both available?" Ginny had started a new job at the Ministry of Magic which was almost as time-consuming as my Auror position. The kids unfortunately were growing awfully accustomed to the nannies.

"Well good because our reservation is at 8:00 PM," she spoke. "Well I have to go run some errands downtown. Can you watch the kids for a few hours?" The nanny wasn't coming till 8.

I was more than happy to spend time with my kids and away from Hermione. I felt so guilty. "Sure. I'd love to," I replied.

"I love you," she said as she left the house, her back to me.

The dinner was delicious. It was at the Druberg Hotel which had one of the finest restaurants in London. We finished at around 10.

"So I guess we can send Anna home early," I said. I took out my phone and began calling her. Ginny shut the phone though before I could call.

"She'll be there till 1," Ginny began. "Why not take advantage of the nanny and get a room here, even if it's just for a few hours." Her proposal normally would have been tempting but I felt so awkward about it, even though I couldn't remember sleeping with Hermione.

We got our room and Hermione ordered strawberries and champagne. I tried to act excited but I felt so bad.

I finished off my second glass of champagne on the bed when Ginny came out of the bathroom. She was wearing red lingerie.

I dropped my jaw in a combination of anxiety and lust. This awkward but sexy, I was confused.

"Someone looks excited," she giggled. She climbed on bed and pulled of my shirt. She began kissing my mouth but moved down my chest and towards my abdomen. She pulled of my pants and then my underwear with her teeth. She started licking my prick. Suddenly I remembered sleeping with Hermione.

She did the same thing but…it was different. Hermione licked circles on my head stroking the shaft with her delicate hands. It was good with Hermione, at least what I could remember. Ginny seemed to be trying but I was barely hard. I decided to get on top of her. "Ooh, getting right to it. Ok," Ginny said.

I pulled down her thong and began to penetrate her. It was slow and rhythmic. I remembered Hermione again. It was so fast and wild. This didn't compare at all. I finished after an hour of trying. I didn't even notice if Ginny orgasmed or not. I lay next to Ginny. We didn't talk. Surprisingly this was no different this usual. I only noticed because of Hermione. We got dressed and went home. It was 11:30 and the kids were asleep. We went to bed. Ginny said she loved me. I agreed.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own anyone or anything, everyone and everything belongs to JK Rowling, I do not make any profit/money or take any credit from creating this fan fiction.

Chapter 3

I woke up troubled. I couldn't keep such a secret from my wife, from Ron, my best friend. He cheated on Hermione though right? Who am I judge though. I just cheated on his sister.

Ginny wasn't lying next to me. I got out of bed and walked into the kitchen. The kids were gone too, but a note on the fridge alerted me that they went to a friend's house near the beach. The note disclosed that they wanted to give me a day to relax. Of course, Ginny wanted to let me "relax". The sex the night before was terrible. She probably thought that I was having work troubles. She often shifted from jealousy to total trust.

I decided that I needed to see Hermione. We needed to talk about what had happened the other night. I tried calling but received no answer. She didn't want to talk: that much was clear.

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I arrived at her door, just as I had before. This time I didn't attack the door, trying to alert Hermione. That would only irritate her. Instead I clacked my knuckles on the door lightly. I could hear voices from within. Hermione's children must have gotten home. I waited until I heard Hermione's cheerful voice. She must have been in a better mood with her kids back.

The door opened quickly, and I saw Hermione looking joyous with tears in her eyes. I couldn't help but feel happy for her till I saw Ron standing sheepishly in their living room, leaning on the couch, with his hands in his pockets.

"Oh Harry!" she exclaimed. "Everything is better. There seems to have been a misunderstanding." I was confused. How could they be back together already?

"What?" I said with a forced smile on my face. Ron stepped forward and spoke.

"Hermione just overreacted the other night," he said. "It's true I have been seeing Cho but for business." Cho was a successful lawyer in the wizard world. "She's been helping me to tie up some loose ends at the ministry of magic." Ron was always getting into trouble with the ministry of magic; it only made sense that he'd need help from one of the best attorneys in London.

Hermione was beaming. I felt like smiling. Then I remembered me sleeping with Hermione. I tried not to show it but I was more disgusted with myself than ever. I cheated on Ginny with Hermione and Ron was now the innocent victim. The phone suddenly rang in the kitchen.

"I get that Hermione," Ron said with a smile directed at his wife. He went in the other room. Luckily this gave me time to talk to Hermione about our own affair.

"Hermione – uh, are we ever going to talk about what happened between us," I said under my breath. Hermione's smile faded.

"Harry, it was nothing. We were drunk, very drunk. It didn't mean anything," she said with seeming disbelief. "We were both upset over what had happened or didn't happen," she added remembering the recent news. "It's nothing to fret about." Her smile was coming back.

"Hermione that doesn't change any–," I started.

"Look!" she interrupted. We were trying to maintain a quiet whisper despite the heat. "Me and Ron are good again. I don't want to ruin that. There's too much at risk. Please don't say anything."

Before I could answer, Ron walked back in saying, "That was work. They need me to come in today." Hermione quickly regained her composure and asked Ron if he really needed to go. He replied affirmatively and walked into his bed room after telling me goodbye. I told them I had to get going to and gave Hermione a look before I left.

She seemed to understand that I wouldn't tell Ron. If this was what she wanted, then I didn't want to be the one to wreck their marriage, though I felt like I already had.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own anyone or anything, everyone and everything belongs to JK Rowling, I do not make any profit/money or take any credit from creating this fan fiction.

Chapter 4

I left their house and went to the gym. I thought that maybe running on the treadmill or lifting weights might help me forget about Hermione. I looked at the women working out to try and get my mind off things. Instead I felt even guiltier. Ginny didn't deserve this. After about an hour I left and went home. It was only about 2 PM so I showered and lay in bed and closed my eyes. Instead of sleeping I wound up thinking even more. I could smell Ginny on her side of the bed.

I loved Ginny, didn't I? How could I have been so susceptible to sleeping with Hermione? Sure, Ginny nagged and had her mood swings, but she was faithful and more importantly my wife, the mother of my children. Was that the only tie we had though? I thought back to Saturday remembering the terrible sex I had with Ginny. The passion was gone, but I didn't notice or care till after sleeping with Hermione.

I was wallowing in my misery for hours. I lost track of time and then I heard a knock at the door. It was a little dark outside but it couldn't have been too late. I was right, it was only 6 PM.

I went to the door, still deep in thought and saw Ron through the peep hole. Fuck. Did Ron find out about me and Hermione? I was scared to open the door for a brief moment but got it over with and greeted him. He had a smile on his face so I assured myself that he still had no idea.

"How are you bloke?" Ron asked heartily. Ron seemed rather jovial. I would be too if my wife let me back in.

"Oh, I'm doing good mate. So what brings you here; were you just in the neighborhood?" I joked. I wanted to be as polite as possible to prevent him from suspecting anything.

"Yeah," he said nodding, "Just in the neighborhood." I chuckled. "Actually," he continued, "Ginny called me and asked me to come over. She said you were acting different."

I shook my head. "No, I'm fine Ron, really – just some stress at work and –"

"C'mon Harry. I noticed something when you came over this morning. Let's just go to the pub, have some drinks –."

"I have work tomorrow Ron…you have work tomorrow –"

"Then we'll stay in. You'll get plenty of sleep." H held my shoulders and smiled genuinely. My hesitance was caused mostly by my guilt. I couldn't bear to be around Ron. I might even spill the secret to him, but I didn't want to give him any suspicion so I accepted.

Ron plopped himself down on the couch and turned on the football game. I grabbed us two beers from the fridge and sat down in the chair perpendicular to him. After a while, Ron insisted on talking. It was easier when we were silent, but now I had to stay calm when speaking too.

"Did you really think I cheated Hermione, Harry?" he asked me finally.

I tried to think of an appropriate response, but under so much duress, I gave in and spoke truthfully. "Honestly Ron, I didn't know what to think."

"You believed me though, right? I would never cheat on my wife." The pain just got worse.

"No Ron. I know you wouldn't cheat on her. I just needed to take Hermione's side. She was hurt."

"I just wish you would have had my back Harry. I understand why you didn't but –,"

"I couldn't be sure if you were telling the truth…I…" I couldn't have this conversation with him. I was trying to not look him in the eye but the minute I looked up, I saw his pathetic face. I couldn't take it anymore. I just suddenly blurt it out, "I slept with Hermione." I needed to say it.

Ron got up and just stood with a look of confusion in his face. I stood up and tried to explain it to him, "We were drunk Ron. I'm sorry. I didn't plan it. She was just so hurt—,"

He stopped my talking with is fist. Ron was much taller and bigger than me. The force sent my body tumbling to the ground. I grabbed my jaw and looked up at my friend. He was so angry. "Ron, please. Try to understand," I gasped.

I rambled on, seeking forgiveness. He grabbed the blunt stone sculpture from the end table and approached me. It was terrifying. I loved Ron. I didn't mean for this to happen. Now he was furious and ready to kill me. I walked toward me ready to attack when I tried one last time. "Ron please I didn't mean to sleep with Hermione."

As those words left my mouth, Ginny walked through the door with my children holding her hands. Me and Ron both looked at her. She stared at me, with tears forming in her eyes.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own anyone or anything, everyone and everything belongs to JK Rowling, I do not make any profit/money or take any credit from creating this fan fiction.

Chapter 5

There I was knocked on the ground with my lip bleeding and my jaw throbbing. Ron kept looking at Ginny until he noticed the kids and put down the sculpture. "I've got to go," he said to Ginny as he walked out the door. She didn't even register his departure; she kept looking at me with anguish. The kids tried to move but Ginny's hands didn't budge.

"Mommy?" Albus asked. "Why is daddy on the floor?" She finally broke her gaze and looked down. Her hands released the children's' as she crouched down, trying to appear alright.

"Honey, why don't you guys go watch TV in the den?" she suggested. Albus looked at me for a brief second which made my insides boil. I felt as if he knew what had happened even though he was so young. I nodded to him, trying not to tear up myself. Ginny lightly patted his back as Albus walked with his siblings out of the room.

Ginny's face was the most painful sight I had ever seen. It was even worse than watching Cedric die. How did I keep ending up hurting innocent people, especially Ginny of all people? Did I even love her anymore? I couldn't bear causing my friends pain.

She looked back into my eyes, piercing me with her stare. I didn't bother moving. I couldn't move; everything had come crashing to the ground in a matter of minutes. I just lost Ron and I expected the same from Ginny. I don't think I even tried that hard to convince her of my remorse.

"You slept with Hermione?" she asked with a firm look of disbelief. She was now sitting on the ground holding herself up with her hands. She sighed deeply shaking her head. "I knew something was wrong. I didn't know what. Now I know. You've been having an affair." She began to tear up again. Her visage finally brought me to tears. I didn't want to make any excuses.

"It was only once," I said. "I know that doesn't matter though. It happened and I don't know how you can ever forgive me for what I did." I got up and grabbed my coat from the closet. "I'll leave now," I said fighting back the tears. She quickly looked at me saying, "You're leaving? You don't want to try and work it out?"

I couldn't stand hurting her anymore. "You deserve better," I said as I closed the door behind me.

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I didn't know where to go. I couldn't stay at home. Even if Ginny wanted to fight for our marriage, I didn't. If I was able to cheat on her even once, then I really didn't love her, at least not in a romantic way. I guess the young love we shared at Hogwarts sort of carried on disguised as real love. It was only a matter of time before I realized that it wasn't real or passionate. I knew I was hurting her again by leaving, but it was better in the end.

I went to Hermione's flat. It was the only place I could think of to go. When I arrived Hermione's door was open and she was laid out on a chair crying. "He left," she said. She looked up. "He left because you told him." Her voice was growing louder. "I asked you just to not tell him."

"How could I not tell him Hermione," I responded. Even I was half-screaming now. "How could I not tell my best friend that I cheated on his sister with his wife?"

"I am your best friend too Harry. I asked you not to tell him. And do you think I don't feel bad, that it doesn't tear me up inside when I see kiss him? I was trying to protect Ron," she told me. "You should just go Harry," she said with disgust.

"I'm sorry," I tried telling her but she had already gotten up and closed the door.

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I decided to go to the pub. I really had nothing now. All my friends had abandoned me and I had no one to turn to. Alcohol seemed to be the only savior. Bennigen's wasn't far away from the flat so I walked there. I drank scotch, rum, whiskey…anything strong that would dull the pain. Instead of relief, the bar just brought me more pain. Memories of spending nights in their after work with Ron or celebrating with Ron, Hermione, and Ginny floated into my mind. I traced the grain in the wooden counter with my fingertips, finishing my 8th shot. It started raining outside, and I started to lose consciousness and blacked out.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I do not own anyone or anything, everyone and everything belongs to JK Rowling, I do not make any profit/money or take any credit from creating this fan fiction.

Chapter 6

I awoke to a dark smoky room. My body was sore: apparently I had slept on a lumpy sofa. My head ached. I must have passed out. This reminded me of waking up hung-over in Hermione's bed. I coughed from the dusty room. A dim light streaked through the blinds on a small window. I was thankful for the blinds, my headache was worse enough already.

I stumbled out of the sofa and tried not to trip over anything as I approached what looked like the door. I had trouble finding the doorknob for a second but eventually I opened it and fell into the bar.

"Oh, yer awake now aren't ye," laughed the bartender. It was easier to see in here. It was still fairly dark but things were actually visible now. The man was washing mugs and shot glasses. I recognized him instantly.

"I passed out?" I asked him.

He laughed, "You were plenty wasted mate."

The man was nice enough to make me a cup of coffee. He was good for conversation, he always had been.

"I laid ya on the couch in the backroom. Comfy?" he joked.

I smiled. At least he wasn't upset with me like everyone else. We talked randomly for an hour. Jerry, the bartender, was great at small talk. It was just the two of us, as it was only 10 in the morning, and I guessed there weren't a lot of sad blokes like myself in need of booze. I finished my coffee and left the pub. I stopped at home. Ginny was at work and the kids were at school so I didn't have to face any demons for the short while I was there. I took a cold shower which helped with the hangover. I packed some clothes in a briefcase, in case I wasn't able to come back for a few days. Then I left, trying to ignore the pictures on the walls as they only brought me guilt.

I decided to go into work early. Maybe I could find a colleague to stay with. Traffic was terrible, as always. I ended up sitting in my car outside a downtown café for what felt like hours. Traffic wouldn't budge; apparently there was an accident up ahead. I looked out the window at the happy people in the café. There was one couple sitting at a table on the veranda. I instantly felt miserable and tried not to pity myself (it was my fault afterall).

The dark haired woman laughed throwing her head back. I suddenly got a bad feeling in my stomach as the red-headed man she was sitting with turned his head. It was Ron and Cho. I tried to remind myself that they were probably having a business lunch but then they kissed. I immediately got out the passenger side, leaving my car in the stand-still traffic.

I rushed toward their table as Cho walked into the café. He saw me and suddenly lost his smile. "What are you doing here?" he asked.

"You know, I was about to ask you the same thing," I replied. He tried to keep his cool, but I could tell that he was panicking.

"I'm on a lunch break Harry," he said firmly.

"Is that why Cho is here?" I said. He quickly lost his composure and began to speak quickly and inaudibly. "I saw you kiss her," I said over his rambling. His face became flushed and still. "You're an ass Ron," I said. He had nothing to say. I hadn't noticed the car horns but traffic had cleared and my car was in the way.

I got in and drove to Hermione's flat. I was outside her door, again, knocking, this time with panic. Hermione had to know what was going on. I felt furious. I started to think that I loved Hermione now more than a friend. She came through the hallway of the building and said, "What do you want" with a frown on her face.

"Hermione, just listen, I was just at Café de la Fleur and –," I started but paused when I saw Ron coming down the hallway. "Actually, Ron can tell you," I said. Hermione looked confused and then turned around and saw Ron.

"Ron?" she asked. "What's going on?"

"Nothing," he said quickly. "Harry's probably just trying to start trouble."

"No Ron," I interjected, "Tell her about Cho." He looked furious and began coming after me. Hermione held out her hand to stop him.

"Ron?" she asked again. He was too much a coward to admit it. "He's cheating on you Hermione." I said. "He was kissing Cho at the café."

Hermione chuckled angrily. "Good job Ron. You tricked me. You tricked me twice in fact. Well I don't want you. I'm done being upset. You're pathetic. I don't know why I ever wasted my time with you. What was I thinking marrying you?"

Ron didn't seem very sad. He seemed angry, angry that his reuse had come to an end. He stood there for a few seconds trying to take it all in. "Oh, here, you can have this little piece of shit back," said Hermione as she through her ring at him. "Go on; go run on back to Cho." Ron turned around and left.

She watched him leave for a moment but then she turned to me. "I'll just get going," I said. I thought she still might be sore with me. She grabbed me before I could leave though and kissed me. It was warm, wet, and amazing. The sex had been great but kissing her sober made me realize for certain that this was what I wanted.

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In the end, Ginny remarried. She has forgiven me and we are on good terms now. The children don't seem to mind having two fathers. Hermione and I married. Her children were young so it wasn't too difficult of a transition. Ron ran off with Cho but from what Ginny tells us, they broke up after a few days.

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Please write reviews. This was my first fanfic and I'd appreciate feedback for when I start my next slash (cedric and harry). Thanks


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